Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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