im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
