I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
