he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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