so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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