Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
