You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
