He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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