Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
