we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize