come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
