he puts the penis in happiness.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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