So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
