Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
