I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
