i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
