I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
