I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Sober January is a disaster.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Green mimosas i think yes
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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