I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Someone signed my nipple.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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