U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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