I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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