What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
