i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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