he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize