I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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