i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
