We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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