Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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