I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
