Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
