Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
