i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
