Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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