I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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