yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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