Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you win again, gameday.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
