I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
