Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
