So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
