Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My feet surprised me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
