If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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