I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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