i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The adults are the big ones right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
