Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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