They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
