Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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