Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
