tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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