Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
