yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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