Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My vagina is officially offended.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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