My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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