i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
