break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
