I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize