whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
